Don’t be shy to ask specifically for what you want your bottom to do for you… Guide them to serve you in the best possible way. Let yourself receive.
Having Fun!
You might want to place the clothespins on your serving maid’s nipples, and see how he/she responds to a little pain. Remove the clothespins after a few minutes, making sure you look into his/her eyes when you do this. Take notice of your own reaction – could you have a sadistic streak?
You might want to use the rope to tie your submissive’s hands behind his/her back or to a chair, or spread-eagle them to the bed. Simple knots are always the best, and make sure to have a pair of scissors handy just in case there is an emergency.
Pay attention to your partner’s response, to his/her level of turn-on. Feel what is happening between you two. Play with the dynamics: get really close, whisper softly, caress, breathe warmly on your lover’s neck and then stand apart. Take charge with your voice and use contrasts in sensations. Now perhaps you feel like pinching, slapping, scratching — scratch.
Finding your power, feeling it, playing with it, enjoying it!
Experiment! It’s only by experimenting with your fantasy that you will both discover who your play personas are – Master, trainer, interrogator, brat, good girl/boy, smart-assed masochist or true submissive slave.
Don’t be shy to ask specifically for what you want your bottom to do for you. Maybe you want your breasts touched and kissed in a certain way. Perhaps you wish your lover to worship your feet and ankles. Tell him/her exactly how you want them to do it. Guide them to serve you in the best possible way. Let yourself receive. Encourage and praise your partner for doing a good job.
When the scene is over…
I strongly believe in the magic of SM and intimacy games. When the scene is over, remember to talk about what happened, your thoughts and your feelings. Cuddle and caress each other and share the aftercare you each need.
This scene might not have heavy SM or bondage, and maybe it will lead to some great, hot sex, and that’s just the point. You’ve opened the door, gotten a taste, and the future is wide open. Remember, you collared your partner as a symbol of your Dominance and his/her submission. It is your responsibility to remove it, and to close the scene when the play is ended. Make sure you share your feelings later so that you both really know what worked and what you’d like to do next time.
The collaring ritual clip was from Cleo’s award-winning film, The Pain Game; the negotiation scene is from her second documentary, Tie Me Up! Both have extensive tips for beginning and intermediate kinksters.
